Money can’t buy me happiness or love,
but it can buy me booze and food which is close enough.
You’re what keeps my heavy heart afloat in my chest.
New Soul
I had a very eye-opening experience today, and it got me to thinking about how much I have been constantly changing over the past few years. I can finally see beyond who I was in the past rather than continuing to believe I am not a person of worth based the many mistakes I have made. I’ve been developing new views on people, politics and the world that surrounds me. I have been forever learning new things each day in both school, and outside of school. I have explored possibilities that I never would have imagined exploring before, and most of all I have bettered myself both physically and mentally. I have grown in myself alongside a person whom I love unconditionally.
My growth can be explained by both the natural development of my young brain, and by the generous love I have been given by my boyfriend, and my family. Since I began my relationship with Evan, I have found that a lot of my previous insecurities and dreads have diminished into smaller pieces to the point where they are no longer significant determinants of my overall happiness. I used to ruminate constantly about the opinions, judgments, and hatred of others toward my actions in the past. I have forgiven myself, and I have found that I am also easily forgiving others and letting go of anger. Knowing that I can come home to someone who loves me in spite of who I was gives me more comfort and contentment than I thought possible. After all, why should someone take teenage stupidity, and classify a person’s entire heart, mind, and soul as being “bad”?
I have found that the person that I was is not the person that I am. My mistakes have given me a wealth of knowledge in order for me to be able to build a new sense of being, and that is all my past can do for me. Other than that, it is nothing but ashes.
I can finally say that I am happy with the person that I am, and the person that I am becoming. I couldn’t be happier that I get to share this Emily with someone who deserves to have all the love and happiness the world can offer. I am glad he has chosen me to give him that love.
Stormy Seas
I sail these stormy seas on a weathered boat made of hope and triumph.
While I embrace and battle the stinging rain and wind,
I have but one goal in mind:
You.
